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Showing posts from March, 2023

The Struggles of Divorce

    This is my last post for the semester! At first I wasn't sure how I would feel about writing a blog because I didn't feel confident in my ability, but after writing over the last 14 weeks, I have come to really love writing blogs. To me it feel like an online journal where I can share my thoughts and feelings. This week has a bit of a more sad feeling. In the previous weeks, I have discussed ways to make and keep a happy family life but this week we will talk about divorce. For Christians, divorce has a kind of taboo vibe. In Matthew 19, Jesus teaches that "from the beginning it was not so". When I was on my mission in Arizona, I often helped people who struggled with this scripture. Would Christ ever approve of a divorce or is it always bad? I can say that divorce isn't always bad. Sometimes divorce can be a good thing even though it is difficult. For example, when a spouse is abusive, when they commit adultery, when they break sacred covenants, etc.      Som

Teenagers

     Teenagers are notorious for giving their parents and other adults gray hairs. Between the ages of 12-18, teenagers are wanting to break away from their family and explore their freedoms such as hanging out with friends, staying up late, getting a car, having an income through a job, and dating. There are also some bad things like drugs and alcohol which can be appealing to teenagers. Some of these things are good, but too much of a good thing can quickly become a bad thing.      I am a new dad with my first child on the way, so obviously I don't have much experience raising a teenager. I am the second youngest in my family of five, so I have been able to see the way my parents have raised the teenagers in my own family. Another qualification I have to speak on this topic is the fact that I have directly worked with teenagers for about three years. In Utah, I worked at two Residential Treatment Centers, Daniel's Academy, and The Heritage Community. In these locations, teena

Fatherhood

     For this blog, I am reporting on an article I read about fatherhood from fatherly.com. I loved the whole article and it was so difficult to narrow my favorite parts down to just five things. Below are my top five favorite topics that the article discussed.      1. Good Dads Are Incubated Traditionally, dads are the ones responsible for teaching their kids how to ride a bike, throw a football, and wrestle. A book from 1977, Constructing Fatherhood by Deborah Lupton and Lesley Barclay suggest that the more involved a dad is, the stronger the relationship will be with their kids. Examples of this is spending serious quality time together and not just getting the energy out. Spending quality time begins before the baby is born. In 2011, a literature review claimed that fathers who are engaged and involved in the pregnancy of their child tend to remain in the child's life as they grow up.      2. Good Dads and Engaged Father Figures In a best case scenario, a father should be at ho

Communication and Mending Relationships

      How often do you misinterpret a message or someone misunderstands what you are trying to say? I am sure each of us have had this problem probably numerous times. It is not fun! In fact it is pretty frustrating! We communicate in many different ways such as through our spoken words, our written words, and our non-verbal communication. In this blog, I'll discuss a process we can use to overcome these situations.     The first step is what is called "Disarming". When someone is upset with you and they blame you for something, typically our initial reaction is to become defensive which the other person is most likely expecting that and preparing for an argument. Rather than becoming defensive, try to find the kernel of truth in what they are saying. Most likely, what they are saying will have some truth, even if it is only a tiny bit and even if it is hard to hear and accept. So when you are getting chewed out, be humble and listen to what they are saying. Listen to the

The Stress of Raising a Family

      Where do I begin? There is stress at every level of family life. For this blog today, I will go through the stages of life and review some of the stressors that are associated with the corresponding stage. Many of the stress that we experience is external, but we can quickly internalize it and make it grow worse. There are many things we can do to help us cope with our stress, but the biggest thing is having faith in our Father in Heaven and trust that despite whatever we may be going through, our Father is aware of our situation and is with us as we endure to the end. He cries with us when we cry, and He rejoices when we rejoice.     Let's being with dating. For me, the most stressful part of dating was the filtering through the girls who didn't want commitment. I thought dating was fun, but I was so excited for it to be done! Ever since I could remember, I've wanted to be a husband and a father. Of course I wouldn't say that to my dates, but my intention was to