Dating- The Do's and Do Not's

 What do you feel when I bring up dating? Whether you are single or married, dating can bring up so many different emotions. For me, dating was fun, terrifying, awkward, romantic and everything in between! Dating is something that should require plenty of effort and not be "off the cuff". In my class this week we talked about the 3 P's of dating: Planned, Prepared, and Paid. Let's break this down a bit.

    Planned. A date should be very well thought out while leaving some room for flexibility. As big a fan that I am of movies, a movie should not be a date unless you have been dating for a while or you're engaged or married. When you are dating someone you should get to know them through conversation or recreation. For me, a date usually consisted of getting dinner/dessert, having an activity planned, and ending with a conversation in a park.

    Prepared. A date should be prepared meaning you have everything ready to go. You shouldn't do things randomly, or choose what you want to do. Talk with your date and learn what things interests them. Go to their favorite restaurant, get their favorite dessert, do an activity that they enjoy, and go to a place where they feel safe and comfortable. Make sure the restaurant is available or if you need to make reservations. Fill your car up with gas before hand. Check to see if your date has any food allergies. If the weather is cool and you are going to spend time outside, make sure your date comes prepared. To share an example from my own life, there was a girl I was dating in college. We had some really nice conversations and I got to know a bit about her. I learned that she loves Italian food, she is an artist, and she used to be an ice skater. On our date, we went to Park City, Utah went ice skating, walked around some art galleries, and grabbed dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. You don't have to be super creative to plan an amazing date, you just have to be intentional.

    Paid. A date should be paid for. Just like in the previous paragraph, you should be prepared which also means you can afford your date. Don't be afraid to do some cheap activities. You can take walks, play games, look for discounts at restaurants, etc.

    I know dating culture is changing. In my opinion, I would say whoever initiates the date should pay. To share a not-so-good example in my life, I once went on a date where I thought it would be a great idea to let my date plan the date and I would pay. This was our first date and she chose the most expensive restaurant in town! The whole time I was stressing about how I was going to pay for all of it! I excused myself to use the restroom and I called my dad and asked if he could send me some money so I wouldn't have to embarrass myself and have my card get declined. If you want to plan the date, make sure you are the one paying. If you can't or don't want to pay for all of it, split up the plans. It can be a lot of fun doing a couple of activities they you have both planned as a surprise for the other person.

    Girls, please don't hesitate to ask a guy out on a date. Traditionally, it has been the guy asking out the girl, but because some girls are not as attractive, they never get any dates because the guy won't ask her. So many wonderful girls remain single for a long time because they are stuck in the waiting game for some guy to come ask her out.

    Guys, make sure you are dating for the right reasons. Hook up culture is a big thing and it is not ok. You should be dating to find a spouse. That doesn't mean you have to plan to date that person, but you should date to learn more about yourself, and what you would want in a wife.